Sunday, April 04, 2010

What would I do?

Another great cancer-oriented article from the NY Times today. This one tells the story of a woman who was diagnosed with breast cancer at 31, was successfully treated, completed her medical degree and entered the field of palliative care, and then had a recurrence and severe metastasis of her cancer. She found herself resisting the same palliative approach she'd been advocating, and fought hard--there's no other phrase for it--until it killed her at 41. Ten years, end to end. She was not ready to give up and not ready to die--at 41, who would be? At 50 or 60, who is, really? In any case, it's yet another poignant and thoughtful piece from the Times, which seems to have a whole "cancer beat" alongside politics and world affairs.

Things are good with me. I passed the 4-year mark with clear bloodwork, mammogram, and physical exam. I have fully regained my strength and my life, and to a large extent I have recovered a sense of confidence that my life will continue for the foreseeable future--or, at least, not be cut short by cancer. Who knows, but the gnawing fear subsides a bit, and it becomes easier to live both for today and toward a future, and that's a nice thing. Of course, as the article illustrates, neither the future nor one's attitude toward it is very predictable.