_________ gave me cancer

I've heard plenty of theories--many quite nutty--about what causes breast cancer. Obviously, we don't really know. For some reason, the incidence is much higher among women in my demographic--upper middle class, no pregnancies, history of birth control use, and whatever other lurking dangers are created by a privileged, professional lifestyle. I may not have lived in Marin County, but I seem like a model Marin case.

I've also heard many other possible causes (see a list here), including:

• underwire bras
• antiperspirants
• heating food in plastic containers
• plastic containers in general (BPAs)
• drinking too much alcohol
• not drinking enough alcohol
• working the night shift
• and now--sleeping on a mattress.

That's right; sleeping on a mattress. Sigh.

I actually try not to heat food in plastic containers anymore, or to use BPA-carrying plastics. I avoid parabens (though I just discovered that they're in my new Philosophy moisturizer, so once that runs out, no more Philosophy). I try to drink no more than three drinks a week. I work on getting enough cinnamon, turmeric, green tea, vitamin D, and omega 3s. I even just completed an 11-day "cleanse" to try to detoxify my system (Isagenix, if you want to know).

Really, we don't know where the f&#% this disease comes from, but we clearly live in a world swimming in toxins and contaminants, and I'm all for trying to find new ways to improve prevention and resistance. But COME ON, PEOPLE. Enough with the snake oil!

Or am I just one of the lucky ones, because my cancer was on the right?